After spending a day reading disheartening Facebook posts about insensitive family interactions and texting with friends who are desperately seeking respite from people hogging their newborn babies around the Christmas tree, I thought I’d put together this nifty list of what NOT to do around the holidays.
Christmas may be over, but Kwanzaa and New Years are still going strong. These things shouldn’t have to be said but apparently a bunch of people missed the memo on basic manners. The good news is that 2016 offers an opportunity to get it right!
That said, here’s my PSA of a holiday party list.
1. Don’t touch a pregnant belly unless she offers. Remember: it’s her uterus! And sometimes it HURTS so dont touch. Behave accordingly.
2. Don’t ask if/when someone will have kids. That really hurts people who are reproductively challenged. And, how would YOU know if she had ever miscarried? Just don’t ask.
3. Don’t buy kids guns. That’s for a parent to do.
4. Don’t call a pregnant woman or a woman who just had a kid “fat.” In fact, don’t call anyone fat.
5. Don’t compare children. Some are stout. Some are short. All develop differently and you aren’t a doctor so be quiet.
6. Dont tell a new mother that her baby will be spoiled bc she is holding her baby. Babies will die without touch in those early weeks so again, be glad someone held you!
7. A baby who needs to nurse trumps your desire to hold him. When baby cries it’s already too late. Give The kid back to mom when she asks the first time.
8. Don’t get drunk.
9. Don’t go if you have an infection that can hospitalize a baby or an old person. Pneumonia, bronchitis, stomach flu are all good reasons to stay home from the party…
10. Dont take home bags of food/water/pop unless you were offered said bags. It’s a party, not the grocery lotto.
11. Don’t walk into someone’s master bedroom. You look like you’re stealing. Plus, the party is in the living room. So why are you opening closed doors elsewhere?
12. Don’t touch someone else’s heat or open windows without permission. [Open windows are a problem for people with small children. Just. Don’t. Open. The. Window. Small children can fall out and mom had NO IDEA you opened the window. If you are hot? Go outside.]
13. Don’t pick up someone else’s coat to “run outside” to have a smoke. SMH.
14. For the love of GOD and all things holy, do not try to force a child to kiss or hug you. A child is a human. If you forced an adult to hug or kiss you, it would interpreted as sexual assault and someone could call the police on you. So, when it comes to kids, behave yourselves accordingly. NOONE has to kiss you.
15. For the same reasons as #14, don’t tickle children or grab their food plate to force them to trade a piece of chicken for a kiss. Sexual favors in exchange for food? Just stop.
And this is the SHORT list! Let’s hope that 2016 brings more awareness, shall we?